Memories
by voltagelisa
Summary: This will be a bunch of one shots that pertain to my story Nobleman's Revenge. It goes over memories of various characters and each chapter will be different ratings. Nobleman's Revenge no longer published.
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you ****Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness for looking this over for me, you help is very much appreciated.**

**A warning readers this one shot has sex in it, well most of it is sex between two men.**

**This is a ****very short one shot, the characters talked about in this short chapter has to do with two characters from Nobleman's Revenge. **

**So if a****nyone can figure out who the other one in this dream is gets a cookie. (grins) **

**There will be more of these chapters as Nobleman's Revenge progresses. These chapters are to give a deep look at my character things that wouldn't fit into the story so I'm putting them here. Hope you enjoy.**

**Leave a review and let me know what you think. **

A young tanned, callused hand, caressed a chiselled cheek, searching, yearning for him.

The other watching, waiting, his amber eyes dark with desire. He leans forward, his lips brushing against wet glistening lips, testing, teasing, smiling slightly at the other's gasp. His tongue sweeping across smooth silky lips, entering the dark chamber, taking advantage of the other's gasp. He relishes the ripe, sweet taste of the other, his hand lace through dark thick hair, deepening the kiss until the other groans pressing his firm body against his hard chiselled body.

Tongues tasting, duelling, tangling together as hands grasp solid muscles covered with clothing.

Moans of frustration could be heard from them both, cloth being ripped, dark hands meeting solid flesh laced with scars as they tumble to the bed. Murmured words mixed with sighs of passion.

Thick shiny black hair tossed across a pillow. Tanned skins clashing, mouths meeting, hot breaths mingling, groans of passion as hands caress each other. Mouth explore, tasting, searching making the younger one writhes as he stares at his lover with heated blue eyes that reminded him of an ocean.

Light blue eyes stared deeply into amber eyes, legs tangled together as bodies come together. Words of passion whispered to each other. Bodies uniting as one, a cry of pain and passion echo in the air. Virginity lost, given willingly to his lover.

Murmurs calm, sooth, while hands cup, stroke smooth skin bring the other closer to his peak making the pain a distant memory. Gentle thrusts turn into a quick, fast, hard, rhythm that drives them both to the brink.

One cries out his release as the other fades….

He awakes, sweat covering his body, head buried in his hands as he sits there shaking, a single tear slips free before he hardens his heart once again. He looks around his empty barren tent and remembers what once was but could never be again.

"I'm sorry…." He whispers, to the man in the memory. The only one he ever….


	2. First Meeting's

**This chapter is a memory brought on by Gilmore survival, (Nobleman's Revenge, Chapter 4), there is no smut in this chapter. (Rated K)**

**T****hank you to Elvenlover and Bonesfan4evar4 for their reviews. IF anyone else has left a review I apologize for not adding your name because there is a problem and I can't seem to see any reviews. Let alone the ones that are already there. **

**Thank you to those who added this to their favorites/alerts. You support is appreciated and those who have not review, but have been reading this story or the other, thank you for taking the time.**

**A warning I didn't have my beta reader look this over since she is already working on the other story, so any mistakes I am really sorry about. IF you point them out I'll fix them right away. **

**First Meetings**

My parents stood on the steps to our castle, the wind playing with their hair as waiting for a man to drop off his child. Mother had a parasol to shield her from the bright sun's rays that beet down on them. Father squinted out into the blazing sun. I hid behind a wall not wanting my parents to see me. The shade was nice and cool here, the sun couldn't penetrate the shadows. Summer had hit full force this year, the ground dry except where the pond was. That was where I found the mud.

If they seen me now I would be in for it. My new clothes were covered in mud; my once dark thick hair was now plastered with dried mud making it hard to tell what color it was originally. My dark skin was white where mud had dried. Blue piercing eyes looked out through all the dirt watching and waiting for the new arrival.

I looked like what I thought was a normal boy, at the moment, not a nobleman's son that my mother was always dressing me up as. I and another child had been playing until the call came from a guard that the new child was coming. From what I understood he was to become a squire. It looked like another child to add to the list, of many who have come here to become a knight, and never made it. I was hoping that this one wasn't like the other ones. Always crying, keeping the men up at night. Always whining for their parents.

There were son boy that we stopped training because they were turning into bullies. That wasn't good, the picked on the villager and created what my father called havoc. I wonder what this one will be like?

A man in his prime nudged a child, about my age, with red hair, forward. I could see tears on his cheeks from here; he looked at the man beseechingly. Faintly from here I could hear pleading words that the man ignored. The usual happens every time we get a squire, nothing new here. I was about to leave but he spotted me hiding. He stared at me with scared eyes, but what was under that is what stopped me from turning a cold disappointed shoulder.

Under all that fear was determination, a look few have when they come here.

I gave him an encouraging smile, this one, I didn't want to fail. Something about him called to me. His eyes lightened, the fear receding somewhat as squared his shoulders and he walked forward to meet my parents. He held his high, his shoulder squared as he met my father.

"I hear you wish to be a squire?" My father asked in his kindest voice, so he didn't scare the child.

"Yes sir." The child stated in a firm tone, that didn't show the fear that I had seen only moments ago. "And then I want to become a knight." He smiled with pride.

"Good, that is what we need, brave lads and one who knows what they want." My father nodded in approval as he nodded towards two guards. They came forward to lead him away. Curiously I moved for a better look, not really caring that I could be seen now. The child's fear was back as he looked at the guards. I watched with a wide smile as he swallowed that fear and nodded towards those guards.

"Father, can I take him to the barracks?" I asked. I really want to know this boy now, he had proved himself in my eyes.

My mother gasped when she seen me. She placed her hands on her hips and stared at me with angry eyes that I knew so well. I felt heat seep into my cheeks as I ducked my head avoiding those angry eyes.

"And what have you been up to?" Bryce, my father asked with a chuckle, when he seen how dirty I was.

"I was playing with the boys." I grinned broadly, flinching slightly as I heard my mother exasperated hiss. I knew once I get into the castle that I would get a lecture, probably be sent to my room or grounded for another week. _Oh maker, I hope it not the last one, I just got off of grounding. I really didn't want to be grounded again._ I gave her sorrowful eye, that I hoped fervently, would get me out of trouble.

"Mikhail..." My mother started sternly but she was cut off by my father. I slapped a hand over my mouth to hide the smile that was itching to come out.

"Sure, you can show him where he is to stay." He smiled. I grabbed the boy's arm and took off at a run forcing the boy to follow. I was about to round the wall when my father's voice stopped me. "Mikhail, make sure to tell Esmond that he will be training the boy." He shouted.

"Yes, dad," I hollered back, before disappearing around the wall.

We ran until we came up to one of the barracks. Men were outside training with my older brother. I and the new boy watched as swords clanged together. Shields, bashing into flesh, and knocking their opponents to the ground.

"Wow..." he trailed off staring wide eyed at the fighting. He was raptly as one of the trainees fell by a shield.

"Come on; let's get you to your bunk. And then you can watch them." I told him. He followed, slowly taking everything he passed when we reached his bunk I thought he had everything memorized by the way had been watching intently.

He turned towards me, his eyes no longer holding any fear in them, "Your name is Mikhail isn't it?" He has curiously. "I heard the Teryn call you that."

"Yes, what is your name?" I asked taking a seat on his bed without thinking about how much mud I got on the blankets.

"Roland Gilmore." He whispered hesitantly.

"Come on, we have to go see Esmond." I tugged on his arm once again.

"Who is Esmond?"

"He's the one that teaches me and my brother. Now he is supposed to teach you too." I grinned.

"He doesn't teach anyone else?" He asked wide eyed.

"Nope, we are the only one he is supposed to teach. He supposed to be the best around here." I shrugged.

We found Esmond at the far end of the practice ring. He was talking to my brother and another person that I had never met. We walked up slowly so we didn't interrupt, they were discussing strategic moves for when we actual do get into a real fight.

"Ah, Mikhail, good to see you here, are you ready to practice?"Esmond asked with a kind smile.

"Um, father wants you to teach him too." I told him hesitantly.

"Will do, the Teryn must have seen something in you, boy." I told Gilmore jovially.

"The Teryn is your father?" Gilmore asked astonished.

"Uh huh," I smiled before taking two swords from the practice rack. Gilmore grabbed a sword for himself and we looked at our teacher expectantly.

I came back to myself staring at a ghost heading my way. Gilmore had survived and he was back, I had the same grin on my face now that I did when I first met him.


	3. Sten

I watched out leader, he is young and I'm not sure if he is up to the responsibilities so I wait and see. I know if he can't do this then I will have to take over.

At the moment we were heading towards the Mages Tower. I didn't agree with him but he told me why we were going here. I understood now and waited. Along our travels we came across some bandits. It was the first time I had seen him fight. He slashed, and jabbed, slitting throats that he came across. I was about to kill the last man.

"No, don't kill him yet." He ordered and came over to me. I watched to see him kneeling down beside the man. I thought he was getting cold feet and would release him since he was badly injured.

That wasn't what he did, he questioned the man brutally, as soon as he had his answers he killed, slitting him throat and left him there. The other watched, one them in horror and that was the bard. The two men nodded before turning away and heading out. The witch sneered and followed along. I knew I would have to watch her.

We stopped for the night and he came over to me. I waited for him to speak, prepared to be annoyed by inane questions. He didn't do that, he asked to the point questions, expecting the same for answers. When he was through he left, for the first time since being let out of that cage I felt alone.

I watched him with the others, he kept them inline giving orders. The witch he avoided at all cost it was amusing to see. He couldn't kill her because she is need, he told me once. "Or she would have been dead long ago." He had finished speaking and walked away once more.

I awoke late in the night to see him sitting on a log. He was staring into the fire his body alert. He knew I was moving around, I seen his hand automatically for the blade at his side. The one he uses for executions.

"What is it Sten?" He asked without looking up. I walked over to him taking a seat on a rock next to him.

"I'm to do watch now." I told him abruptly. "Why are you still awake?" I asked him.

"Nightmares, same one since before I became a Grey Warden." He told me as glanced at me.

"You shouldn't let nightmares win." I told him. He should know this.

"You're right, but these are different than normal nightmares, these are real. What me, Alistair, Gilmore see in these dreams actually happen. We feel what they feel, we see what they see. The Arcdemon calls to us sometimes. So when that happens I stay awake for a bit and try again." He shrugged. I waited for him to ask a question like human's are known to do but he didn't, he kept silent.

I watched as he picked a twig and scratched something on the ground. I looked closer and found out it was a map of sorts. I waited until he was finished, "Make sure no one ruins that when they wake. In the morning I'm copying it." He ordered before standing up.

"What is it?" I asked taking a closer look.

"I don't know but it is where the Archdemon is." He stated before leaving.

I kept watch thinking about what he had said, I memorized the map waiting for the dawn to come. A while later, his companions began to rise for the day, but he was still in his tent. No one tried to wake him, no one barely made sound as he slept. A true leader has control over his people, as he does.

One went to step on the map and I glared at them. They moved, pitiful humans. "What is that?" The one called Alistair asked.

"The Warden drew it last night." I growled at him. He looked at me fearfully before backing away.

Not long after his companions rose for the day so did the Warden. He came out with writing material and redrew what he did last night.

"Let go." He ordered once we were packed up. He led the way and we followed him.

He led the way through the Mages Tower. At first I thought he was going to kill all the mages but he didn't. I asked him about it and he answered. "Wynne is a healer and we need a heal desperately. If we kill her people she won't follow us." He grumbled. I could see he wasn't impressed with this, he wanted the mages dead too. He even said they were dangerous.

We left the tower, each of us having our own version of a nightmare in there. I looked over at him, he was hiding his turmoil better than the others were.

A noise in the bush caught my attention and everyone else's. I went hunting for the intruder and found him. I brought him back to the Warden curious what he would do. I knew this man must die but humans don't think like that. Though sometimes I think the Warden is more Qunari than human at times.

He scowled down at the hostage, with a growl he asked a question. The Warden stopped him before he could finish and dragged him into the bush out of sight of everyone. I sat down and waiting wondering if I was wrong about the Warden.

With a grunt I followed him into the bush. I could hear the Warden not far away. I listen to what he was saying. I watched as the Warden slit his throat and walked away like nothing happened.

"He pled for his life yet you killed him?" I asked, waiting to see what he would say.

"If I didn't someone would have found us." He stated with a shrugged giving me a challenging look.

"What will you tell the others?" I asked him. If was human he would lie.

"The truth if they ask." He watched me closely, measuring my worth. A look of a strong leader.

I tried for what humans do, I tried to crack a joke I think they call it. "You are not as callow as I thought you were." I tried to smile. He looked at me shocked, I know thinking him callow had been stupid, he was a warrior, a true warrior, a true leader.

He had earned my respect, he had proven himself. He was Kadan to me. Someone I would stand beside, someone I would fight beside with pride, someone close to my heart. Kadan.


	4. Leliana

**This chapter is Leliana point of view. Its not really a memory, it more on her thoughts as I did with Sten. Leliana is known as a good character, and my character from Nobleman's Revenge is anything but good. **

**This chapter hasn't been beta read, if anyone wishes to do some beta reading drop me a line. I can read my stories over and over for mistake but I always miss the most obvious ones – go figure.**

**This is a very short look from Leliana's perspective. **

**Thank you to Eva Galana for the review and Bonesfan4evar4. The both of you have made my day. **

I sat staring at the sky, the stars shone brightly. Mikhail was sitting down talking with Gilmore quietly. They were talking about the past, laughing sometimes. These were the only times I see him have a friendly smile, one that wasn't cover in ridicule or spite or his favourite sneering smile. That one puts me on edge. You just never know what he will do.

I had to admit though he was a strong leader, no one rarely crossed him or made him mad. Well other than Gilmore but he had a way that calms Mikhail down.

He even had the Qunari's respect, from what I heard it was very hard to get that. He had the assassin's respect but I could see he didn't trust the assassin fully. I didn't know what to think of him.

When I first met him I was interested to see if more could go on between us, actually to be honest with myself sometimes even now I think about that. Though I know he will never take me up if I offered. He wasn't one for long romances, or falling in love.

I knew that by watching him with the assassin who slept in his tent or by Gilmore who he was sleeping with. But for some odd reason that stopped.

Gilmore had told me once that he loved another and could love no one else. I had asked who and he wouldn't answer. I didn't understand how a man like him could love. He was cocky, cruel at times, and he was also what my mentor use to call a loose canon.

"My mentor, now there was a problem, I had lied to Mikhail. I feared what he would do when he found out that I lied, but a part of me told me he already knew that I lied. There have been a few occasions that I had tried talking to him but I couldn't. My mouth went dry, my hands started shaking.

It was odd he was never mean to me, he was always polite, and treated everyone but Morrigan the same way. If he was abrupt to one person you can bet he would be the same to the others.

Then there were these times, where he was human. He smiled, his bright blue eyes were alight with mischief. His smile was warm and inviting. This were the times that I liked him the most, where I could almost ask him but never do.

He caught me watching him and glances towards me, like a young niave girl I blush and look away bashfully. That's the affect he has on me sometimes, but I know he prefers men rather than woman.

I am a very confused bard right now. I think I've made up my mind to tell him about my mentor… I wonder how that's going to go over.

Taking a deep breath to forify myself I rise from where I was sitting and walk over to him. He looks at me expectantly and….

**To be continued in the story. I wanted to put a chapter in here for Leliana. To see Mikhail from her point of view. Reviews are appreciated, and welcome.**


	5. Loghain part 1

**Thank you Bonefan4evar4 for looking over this chapter, you're help is appreciated. Also thank you for the review you left for the last chapter, I'm glad you're enjoying this story.**

**Thank you for those who have added this to your favorites and alerts. Your suppose is appreciated.**

**This chapter is to show Loghain's turmoil; there will be more chapter of him later on as my other story continues. **

**Loghain part 1**

With a sigh I sat in my tent waiting for Cailan, he hadn't shown up yet and I had been expecting him over an hour ago. With a curse I threw open the flap of my tent, squinting at the glaring sunlight that hit my unshielded eyes. The heat was almost unbearable as I stood there, while the sun beat on my metal armor.

"Where is Cailan?" I growled at the guard at my tent. One, that I have known for years, who has served me loyally for many of those years, and knew most of my secrets. I trusted him and regretted taking my anger out on him.

"He went to meet the new recruits for the Grey Wardens ser." He told me, his eyes down casted as I snarled, storming back into my tent. _Damn him and those Grey Wardens, to the Maker and back._ I vented to myself as I paced the confines of my tent.

Papers littered my table, maps hung on cloth walls or lay strewn through the tent. These things would usually keep my attention, since war was imminent, but even that couldn't overcome my annoyance towards my daughter's husband. Cailan… there was so many things I wanted to do to him, after finding out from my daughter what had been happening. I could never forgive him some of those things. He had hurt my daughter deeply. Women, there were always women waiting for him. All he has to do is say no, but he doesn't.

I closed my eyes, taking deep even breaths, trying to calm down and think rationally. But that was futile, as the guard at my door was sending someone away quite noisily. With an annoyed growl, once more I threw open the flap of my tent to be met by the bluest eyes. Eyes that I remembered so well, that use to haunt my dreams and still do at times. Mikhail; he was here.

I knew the Grey Warden would have picked him; he was the best fighter that I had met. With training he would be a menace on the field. He was one of those few that could boast about being a nature with a blade.

I greeted him quietly after getting over my shock seeing him here of all place. He had a small smile, his eyes bright as he regarded me.

"Mikhail, walk with me," I asked him after a time as he stood there waiting. With a motion of my hand, we headed towards a place that overlooked of one of the fields. He stood beside me, a grown man that was sure of himself. From what I heard he was becoming _too_ _well known_ with the woman and men. That information grated on my nerves.

His long black hair, pulled back into a braid, some things never changed, even after a year. His blue eyes were harder, colder, no longer the smiling ones I remembered, the one that I…

We talked quietly for awhile, he was astute as ever and knew I was hiding something from him. I tried my best to keep him out of this, but that was easier said than done. He could read me to well as I could read him, he was curious, intrigued to say the least.

I sent him away, a part of me happy that he was here and another part fearful that he was. I had heard the rumors that the initiation into the Grey Wardens could be deadly. I hoped he would survive.

I went back to my maps and planned, while the hours slowly passed by. Day turned into a brisk cool night, giving a reprieve from the blistering heat from the day. I heard Mikhail nearby as I sat back in my chair listening to him as he and another young man were _teaching_ some girls.

Quietly, I chuckled to myself and wondered how long would it take for what he was doing to spread around the camp. I heard another voice, a very annoyed voice that belonged to our king. _I should leave him and Mikhail alone for awhile and see what happens._ I had heard how Mikhail had treated him when they first met. I had to hide a small smile from Cailin. Mikhail didn't suffer fools gladly and Cailin at times could be a fool.

"What is it Cailin?" I asked him as he stormed into my tents, the flap fluttering behind him letting in a slight breeze that cooled the skin on my face.

"That Cousland I met, he has no respect for the crown." He ranted pacing the confines of my tent, his anger, almost palatable. "Now I see him not far away, he and another are seducing women. Aren't you going to stop him?" He asked with a bite to each word.

"No, why should I? My job is to plan strategy for the up and coming battle, not babysit wardens." I growled angrily at him, that he would expect me to take care of Mikhail.

"I should talk with Duncan about him." He grumbled, glaring towards where we could hear Mikhail and his companion.

"I wouldn't, this could be his last night of fun." I told him quietly as I listened to Mikhail voice drop low and intimate. A part of me hated him at the moment, hearing his voice as it was now.

"You're right," he sighed. I knew what his problem was and I tried to keep my anger in check. He wore the crown and I was an advisor, nothing more, even though my daughter was his wife.

He sighed and left my tent in a sulking silence. Peace and quiet enveloped the small confines of my tent. Finally the camp was slowing down and I could relax. Mikhail's voice couldn't be heard anymore, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Late the next morning Mikhail and the new recruits were sent into the Wilds. I feared for his safety, I feared that he wouldn't be returning. Old memories came to me as I paced my tent, my frustration mounting. I left my tent needing air, it was too stifling in there for me. To my shock I found three men standing in front of my tent talking about the new wardens, especially Mikhail. I glowered at them, but they didn't notice.

I motioned for my personal guard to follow me into my tent, "I want you to follow Mikhail in the Wilds, I want you to watch him and then report back to me." I ordered him.

"Ser, may I ask a question?" He glanced at me and then back to the floor.

"What?" I came close to growling.

"Is he the one that you…" He trailed off when I turned a lethal gaze at him. I watched as he swallowed nervously, before rushing out of the tent. _How dare he bring that up! Now of all times!_ I seethed silently.

I watched him leave from the flap of my tent, letting the sweltering heat pour in and wash over me. Duncan stood by the fire watching the gates, I could see the tension in his shoulders from here and I wondered about it. I saw worry in his features as he glanced my direction a worry that I shared.

I went to him, hoping I would get more information about this ritual. "Duncan." I greeted kindly. He hadn't done anything to cause my ire. He thought this war was a mistake, the Kings way was anyways.

"Loghain, I see you know Mikhail," he commented with a raised brow. _Well if I want information I would have to give some._

"I was his teacher for a short time." I shrugged as if it was no big deal, when it was quite the opposite.

"Yes, I thought I recognized his fighting style. What motivated you to teach him?" he asked watching me closely.

"His pragmatic attitude and aptitude for a sword; he was a quick learner, and very easy to teach." I gave a small smile at the memory.

"You could teach him here, if you so wish it." He murmured, staring off into the distance.

"No, we have a war to fight, now isn't the time. Plus I don't have the time." I frowned and then shook my head trying to dislodge my wayward thoughts.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up." He gave me an understanding look. I hoped I was reading more into that look than what was there.

"Don't worry about it." I muttered turning to leave, but something near Duncan caught my eyes. Niko laid down nearby. With a smile I walked over to him, his eyes perked up as I neared. He gave a happy bark seeing me.

"Hey, Niko." I petted him on the head, scratching his ears. He rolled onto his back, his stubbed tail wagging as he squirmed his great body like a pup.

"You're the first that has been able to go near him, other than to give him food." Duncan stated astonished as he moved closer. Niko jumped to his feet with a low warning growl, his sharp fangs showing, warning Duncan away.

"That's enough out of you." I reprimanded softly, hoping he would listen. He looked at me for a moment before laying back down with a snuffle. The Mabari was so much like his master, easy to anger, but until you had his trust then he remembered.

"He listens to you?" Duncan asked shocked.

"No, not really, he knows me." I mumbled, unsure how to explain this. I rose to my feet with a sigh giving the Mabari a last pat.

I was about to enter my tent before Duncan stopped me, "Loghain, Mikhail will be doing the ritual later tonight but before then you should be able to see him." He told me with knowing eyes. I swiftly looked away from him, not sure what to answer to that.

With memories and thoughts that I shouldn't be having anymore, I poured myself a mug of ale to forget. To forget a past that haunted me. To forget the good times I had with him and the one time that I still regret the most, but most of all was to forget, Mikhail…if possible.


	6. Loghain part 2

**FIRST MEETINGS – LOGHAIN AND MIKHAIL**

**Thank you all who have favorite, added to their alerts. A special thanks to all who have reviewed.**

**This as the title says shows how Mikhail and Loghain met, plus how Loghain ended up training him. Leave a review and let me know what you think. **

I stood on the practice grounds watching new recruits that the king had chosen. Most of them were green behind the ears, their swings, long and awkward. Their stance atrocious, they would be easy to knock down if they were ever in battle.

Cailan had asked me to see the new recruits, to say the least I wasn't impressed. I walked father onto the grounds, some stopped, awe in there eyes as they watched. I was tired of this basking, The great Hero of River Dane. Bah, what a joke. I never asked for it, I was a farmer not someone to be awed.

"Teryne Loghain, so what do you think?" Engar asked as I neared. He was the one teaching these imbeciles. To get them ready for battle.

"You don't want to know." I grumbled with a scowl.

Swords clashing caught my attention, we both swung around to see what the cause. Most of the men had stopped to gawk at me, but it seemed there was one who didn't care.

A young lad about 16 stood there fighting another. The lad was getting bored quickly and them landed the other on their rear quickly. I heard his disgusted snort from here as he glared down at his opponent.

"Engar, is this the best you have?" He asked, a scowl marring his young face.

"Yes Mikhail." Engar chuckled as the young lad shook his head chuckling.

"Then I feel sorry for Prince Cailan if this is the best. The Maker, help Denerim if it's ever attacked." He muttered shaking his head.

"What makes you think you're better than them lad?" I asked with a bite to my words.

"Oh, let's see…could it be that I've been here for hours and haven't found an opponent that I couldn't beat yet?" He asked snidely. I knew it was rhetorical. This lad had spine talking to me in that manner.

"So you've fought all these men?" I asked curious, this lad had potential. You could see it in how he held two swords with ease as if they were an extension of his arms. He wasn't afraid of them or holding them daintily, he held them with a firm grip, swinging them lightly at his side. Not enough to be danger but enough to show he was annoyed. His young body was lean and muscular. When I watched his I had seen he moved with grace, smooth like a dance. He knew his weaknesses and guarded them well as he moved.

"No, are you nuts?" He laughed, a joyous sound, his head tilted back as the sound filled the grounds. "Have you seen these men, some are so afraid of their weapon that they hold it as if its going to turn around and bite them. There are others that are still looking at them as if they had never seen a weapon in their life. Then you have the really young one, a good wind would knock them down." He chuckled, with each problem he pointed to a certain trainee.

I had to admit he had an intuitive eye. He spotted their weaknesses right away. "Do any have potential?" I asked calmly. Testing his too see how much he actually sees. I saw a few that could have potential with training, maybe.

"Of course, those are the ones that I challenged. They have the bare minimum knowledge of swords and fighting, with training they will improve." He nodded looking a few that I had notice. Then he was looking at one priticular lad, one I hadn't noticed before. He had red hair, his body lean and lanky has he swung his sword. The Cousland crest adorned his shield as he fought another.

"What is one of the Cousland soldiers doing here?" I asked Engar.

The lad answered before he could. "By order of my father, he is to accompany me where ever I go." He grumbled with a sneering smile.

"Who are you?" I asked, very curious now. Who had beaten most of the men here without a challenge?

"My father is Teryne Bryce Cousland. I'm his youngest son." He muttered, rolling his eyes.

Huh, he must be the youngest son, the one that nobles are talking about putting on the throne. Those that don't support Cailan that is. Cailan was young and had his head filled with stories. Stories he wants to live and that worried the nobles.

"So you're Bryces youngest?" I asked, not positive that there weren't more children.

"Yes I am." He nodded, his focus turning back to the other lad. He was tiring, his swings becoming sluggish.

"So, Mikhail, you can come back here and train any time you want." Engar stated catching the lad's attention.

"I'll be back early tomorrow morning." He nodded before walking over to collect his companion. I watched as he stood there tapping his foot impatiently waiting his friend to finish. "Gilmore would you hurry up!" he growled.

Gilmore turned on the lad with a grin and swung at him. Mikhail, if I remembered his name correctly was unarmed. He caught the blade with the flat of his palms and kicked out. Gilmore stumbled back with a grunt. It was enough time for Mikhail's weapons to appear in his hand. Without warning he attacked. He was a menace, giving no quarter, but I noticed none of his hits were meant to hurt.

Gilmore had a hard time defending himself and tired quickly. His shield arm was becoming saggy as he received hit after hit. With a quick flick of his wrist Mikhail sent his weapon flying. Left with only a shield the boy did the only thing possible. He went to bash him but Mikhail had foreseen that. With a twist of his body and a nudge the shield was left on the ground discarded.

"Alright, alright you win," Gilmore sulked. Both lads walked away, Mikhail laugh caring to us.

"Engar, when he comes in the morning have me sent for." I ordered him.

"Of course, teryne Loghain," He bowed to me before moving off to the lad for the days teachings. I watched for a short time before retiring to the castle.

Cailan was nearby when I entered, his focus was on the men training as he watched through one of many windows overlooking the training grounds. "Who was that lad?" He asked his eyes bright with curiosity.

"Mikhail, Teryne Cousland's youngest son," I answered, watching closely to what he was going to say next, or what he was thinking.

"To bad, he would have been an asset to the Kings guards." He muttered. "I've never seen someone that young wield a sword that well." He murmured thoughtfully.

"Niether have I. That is why I want to know more about him." I murmured darkly. I didn't think he would be a threat to the throne but you never know.

Days flew by as reports that I had requested landed on my desk. Over the past few days I learnt more about the lad then I thought possible. I feared for the throne, I feared Cailan wouldn't be able to take it, that Mikhail would be chosen when the Landsmeet happens next month after Mikhail's birthday. I was shocked to learn that he was only 15, not quite old enough to take the throne…yet.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do. A part of me thought he would be the better canadate. While another knew I would never allow that to happen, not with Meric's son. I owed Meric that much at least.

Each morning I would go down to the practice grounds and watch Mikhail. He was always working with Engar, always using his to practice on. For the first time since watching his I stepped forward and challenged him. I smirked when I seen shock on his face. "Sure…" He shrugged unsure.

Four hours we battled, testing each other never truly striking. People stopped and watched, some had bets going but they would be disappointed. We were actually going to fight, he was learning. I could see that, everything he watched he learnt from, and remembered.

"How long have you been using a sword?" I asked him one day.

"Since I was strong enough to hold onto a sword, but if you're asking when I learned fighting. Then I would have been no more than five years old when my father started teaching me. Eight when he hired someone to teach me." He answered nonchalantly.

"How would you feel if I offered to teach you while you are here?" I offered him, this boy interested me. There was something about him that was intriguing.

"Sure, but I want one favor first." He stated bluntly.

"What that?" I asked with shrewd eyes.

"You call off all the lords that are trying to get me to sit on the throne. My father is still trying but without success." He muttered running his hand through his tied back hair.

I didn't answer but nodded, I was too shocked by the request. I hadn't been expecting that.


	7. Lost Love

**Okay here is the chapter as promised, this is only part of the reason, more to this will be coming out in Nobleman's Revenge as the story progresses. **

**This takes place later in the night on the same day that Loghain gave him the knife. (Nobleman's Revenge chapter 13) Plus it mentions the mission that Gilmore keeps bring up in Nobleman's Revenge every once in awhile. **

**I know it's short, but if I write too much then it'll ruin the suspense with Nobleman's Revenge. **

**Now, to the reviewer, thank you Lisakodysam, for your two great reviews. You made my day as I read them. **

We had just arrived back at the palace from the mission Loghain was sent on. He asked me to help and obviously I would say yes without thinking about it. It gave me more time around him. Something I wanted almost desperately.

I loved him, it was as simple as that, it was a startling revelation, but I true one none the less. Though a part of me was worried, I didn't know how he felt, I know what I had seen at the lake. A look of desire, yearning and something else I wasn't sure what. I hoped it was my feeling returned but maybe it wasn't.

Could he love a man twenty two years of age? We've been lovers for four years now, so was it possible?

"Mikhail, pay attention!" He snapped glowering at me. He's been doing that since I wanted to save the woman and not harm her.

"What?" I asked softly.

"I asked you a question, why did you want her to live so badly?" He growled.

"She should have to die for her a stupid reason." I muttered.

"A stupid reason? You think being ordered to protect the throne is a stupid reason?" He shouted angrily.

"Loghain, neither of those people could harm the throne. You know that as well as I." I sighed.

"Really…" He snarled stalking towards me. "I never thought you were weak. I guess I was wrong about you." He sneered.

"What I did today wasn't weak, what I did was right." I stated harshly.

"You're just like your father, naïve and obtuse to the real world. Thinking everything is safe. Well I have news for you _boy_, it isn't. Once you come to realize that fact maybe you'll be man enough for a true relationship with someone that isn't me." He stormed. I felt my heart break in two.

I tried not to let my emotion show but it was useless. He seen them and scoffed. "As I said, you're too naïve, and I was a fool seeing what I wanted to see. I should never have taken you as a lover." He bit out. "You're too young, too full of ideals. Go home Mikhail. Go. Leave with your family. When you're old enough then I'll continue training you. Until then…don't come to me." With those words my world came crashing down. My heart was split in two.

**Don't hate Loghain, there is more to this story but you'll find it in later chapters of Nobleman's Revenge. This was the main argument that toughened up Mikhail, that changed him. **

**So please be patient, when I do Loghain's point of view you'll understand better but unfortunately that won't be for a while. Sorry…**

**Well leave a review and let me know what you think. Loghain bashing reviews are fine. (Just please don't kill me (grinning))**


	8. Choices

**Thank you Lisa for correcting this chapter for me, I'm very grateful for your help.**

**Thank you for the review, Lisakodysam. **

**To warn readers this happens in later chapters, I put it out early because it would stop bugging me, this chapter doesn't give away anything in the storyline of Nobleman's revenge. But it give you the insight of some of Mikhail's turmoil since his injury when he found out how much it affected Gilmore and Zevran. **

**Leave a review and let me know what you think.**

I watched him from across the fire from me, his red hair catching the glow from the flames. His head was bent low as he talked quietly with Alistair. So intent were they on their conversation that they didn't even notice me watching. I hated to admit it but I missed him. Out of everyone - including Loghain - he understood me the best. He knew how my mind worked and how far I was willing to go. The part that bothered me was that he never judged me for some of my decisions.

Even when he remembered what happened that one night, long ago, he never shunned me. Yet I shoved him away; I pushed as far as I could, taking others for lovers. Taking the one man he was worried about in body once more. He knew it; I had seen the pain in his eyes when he looked at me. I hated myself for that, but most of all I hated this confusion.

I've loved Loghain for the longest time, but when I didn't do what he wanted, he had shoved me away. Gilmore had been there for me, listening every time I needed to vent. Now I sit here contemplating my options - Gilmore or Loghain.

My mind screamed at me to go to Gilmore. But another part told me to stay with Loghain; he would get me to the throne. He would be the one to help me the most in my goal. Gilmore wouldn't be able to do what the other could.

I buried my face in my hands; stifling the groan of frustration at how complicated I've made my life. _I hated this. _

"Mikhail, you look like you're in pain," Gilmore smirked as he moved to take a seat beside me.

I looked up into his sky blue eyes and lost myself for a moment. He sat there patiently, waiting until I was ready to talk, not pushing me away. A tender smile blossomed on his face as he watched me with understanding in those peaceful eyes.

Without thought or recourse I dropped my forehead onto his shoulder, "how can you still look at me like that after everything I've done?" I asked quietly.

He gave a soft laugh, shaking his head at me, "you should already know that answer. You love Loghain, wouldn't you forgive him anything he did?" he asked.

"I don't know," I told him honestly.

"Then you need to ask yourself, do you actually love him?" there was no bite in his words, no malice; he was just stating something that I had been asking myself ever since I slept with Loghain.

"I don't know anymore," I whispered, unsure if he'd heard me. I hoped he didn't hear but I also hoped he had.

"What makes you doubtful now?" he asked with concern that hid happiness.

"You," I told him, meeting him square in the eyes. Without another word, I left him there, heading for my tent, where I could get some solitude. But that was a false hope, as Zevran was in there waiting for me.

"Zevran, now isn't the time; please - I need to be alone." I stated harshly, more so than I intended.

"No! Now is the time," he stated defiantly, his eyes cold and hard as he moved to block my exit.

"Let me ask you a question, first, he said. "How much do you trust this Loghain?" His shrewd eyes watched me keenly as I stalled at the question.

"Why?" I asked quietly.

"Is he someone who can help you rule? Is he someone you would trust to help you rule without looking out for his own agenda?"

"Do you have a point to make with all of this?" I asked coldly.

"After everything he's done - or claimed he had no knowledge of - do you still believe him?" Zevran asked. _Damn, I didn't want to answer this question; it was the same one I had been asking myself since I was injured. _

"You don't need to answer - I can see it in your eyes," he murmured. "So what will you do now?" he asked, rising to his feet. I moved out of the way so he could leave. "One thing I've learned as an Antivan Crow is that you don't need to be nobility to help someone lead," he remarked as he exited.

And there they were, the words I needed to hear but didn't want to admit to. After everything that had happened, Loghain no longer as powerful as he had once been. He had ignored the most terrible crimes and injustices in a city that he was supposed to defend. If I took the throne I couldn't do it with him at my side; the people of Ferelden would be in uproar. And I would never be able to trust him.

Well, that was part of the dilemma solved, now what about the rest….?


End file.
